The Great Depression

There are billions of people in the world, yet I feel like I'm alone

And all I try to do is right, but everyone seems to treat me wrong

So I lash out in rage, but what I say is never heard

Because I've learned to turn my cheek and swallow all these hateful words

But I'm getting tired now and I can only take so much

Because with everything that happens my soul is slowly being touched

So I make others laugh just to escape all my pain

But every time I'm down no one's there to do the same

So I sit back and relax, while I nurse all my wounds

As I lay terribly depressed in a dark solemn room

Somehow this little balled up aggression

Is slowly changing into an even bigger depression

Something I can't take and can't shake

And eats away with every second

I've now acquired too many emotions to ever explain

It feels like there's demons as well as angels fighting for control of my pain

And for some strange reason my heart is being pulled in opposite directions

One has the side of good and the other knows no affection

And I can't explain the way I feel, I just know I feel this way

From the second that I wake, till the time I end my day

Although I enjoy life and try my best to learn it's lessons

I just wish someone could teach me to escape this Great Depression

Inside of Me

All these things I find inside
I keep trying to hide
I don't want to face them
For I keep them well hidden
Facing the problems I have
I don't want to do
I'll find a way around it
Instead of working fully through
I only see what I want to see
And try to ignore the rest
But as time goes on
It becomes a difficult task
My world seems black and white at times
Why do I do this
Why can't I handle it on my own
How will I survive the real world
Out there all on my own
To escape reality
Even for just a while
Would satisfy me
Away from this world
I feel so alone in
Away from the dangers
I know there is something far better out there
I just need to find where
Find the place where true happiness lies

you wont nvr knw who i really am

Hidden

Behind a mask
My face is blank from practice
My feelings well hidden
Deep within my heart a chamber is filled with emotions
Overflowing from never having been let out.

Until the point comes
When they're too much to bear
So I give in.
And alone in my room
They come out
In tears

Then I pick myself back up
Wipe the evidence of tears from my face
Put on a face smile
And walk back into the world
Like nothing is wrong.

The truth stays behind
Locked within the confides of my bedroom.
My escape

I put my mask back on.

buat papa ...

A Father but Not A Dad

I'm sorry you missed out when I went to school for the 1st time,

And you didn't have me tell you that you were all mine,

I'm sorry you weren't there to take me to the mall,

And you weren't there to tell me I have to stand tall,

Sorry you weren't the one I saw when I came out of my play,

Or the one I'd run to when I had a bad day,

I'm sorry you didn't hear me sing, you'd have been so proud,

And you weren't there to lift me up on a cloud,

Sorry you weren't there to tell me there's nothing to fear,

But then again you should have been here,

I'm sorry you weren't the one to teach me to ride a bike,

Or the one who took me on my first hike,

I'm sorry you weren't the one who carried me on his back,

Or the one who held me tight when strength is what I lacked,

I'm sorry you weren't the one to hold me when I cried,

Or tell me I did great when I really tried,

I'm sorry you were never there to teach me how to cook,

Or there at night to read me my favorite book,

I'm sorry me as a daughter is what you never had,

You will always be my father, but you will never be my dad.

If These Walls Could Talk

Sometime in everyone's life, they feel betrayed and all alone, like everything is a lie. You are trapped in a world of anger and rage and you can only see red through your eyes. No one seem to see when you are going through this time, or understand why.

But it is times like these that God takes you in His arms and tames your wild mind and assures you, you are never alone.

If These Walls Could Talk

If these walls could talk,
you'd know my body is dead,
my mind has been taken over,
that's why I am so scared,
I can't control it,
anger is making me blind,
I've been left here on my own
chained to a hate of some kind.
If these walls could talk.

If these walls could talk,
you'd know about my fears,
about all those nights I screamed for help,
about all my fallen tears.
You'd know about the demons
haunting me at night,
you'd be able to help me
keep my fire alight,
if these walls could talk.

If these walls could talk
I hope they would say that,

it's all right,
God sends His angels
to look over me at night.
They'd encourage me,
say though I am alone
it doesn't mean I‘m on my own.
He watches me, from above
and showers me with all His love,
if only these walls could talk.